Results tagged ‘ assholes ’

Once Again Laz Diaz Shows Why He Is A Joke Of A Freakin’ Umpire

First rule of umpiring/officiating sports in general: If fans know you by name that is rarely a good thing.

So why on Earth am I not the least it surprised to to hear about Laz Diaz acting like a mindless nitwit?

Last night Russell Martin and Diaz, calling balls & strikes for the game, got into it over his “shifting strike zone” early in the game, but no one lost their head and Martin was not ejected.

Later, however, Martin said Diaz began to mess with him:

Martin says Diaz wouldn’t allow him to throw new baseballs back to his pitchers after fouls during New York’s 6-5 win over the Los Angeles Angels on Wednesday night … Martin says Diaz told him that throwing the balls was “a privilege I had to earn.”

In explaining it, Martin used a colorful metaphor to describe Diaz:

“Even at the end of the game after I get hit in the neck. I’m like, can I throw the ball back now? He’s still like no. I’m like you’re such a (expletive). Like for real. Unbelievable. I even told him like when there’s guys on base, I like to keep my arm loose. No. I’m not letting you throw a ball back. That’s pretty strange to me … I was kind of mystified. I really didn’t get that. He was punishing me.”

This kind of retarded shit is why umpires like Diaz, Joe West, “Balkin’” Bob Davidson, C.B. Bucknor & Angel Hernandez just need to be ran out of the game.

Get this through your f***in’ heads you assclowns.

Nobody pays good money to see you knuckleheads so stay the f*** out of the way & stop trying to bring attention to yourselves.

11 Baseball Legends Who Were Legendary Assholes

"Raise your hand if you're a dick..."

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Baseball is as synonymous with America as mom, apple pie, and morbid obesity, which probably goes hand in hand with the apple pie. We’ve all heard the names Ruth, DiMaggio, Aaron, these are the legends of the game who inspire us with awe and wonder.

However, with any group there’s sure to be a certain number of assholes, and baseball is no different. Maybe a little worse, in fact.

#11 – Jose Canseco:
First known as one of the great power hitters of the 80s and 90s, there are some who now call Jose Canseco the “Woodward and Bernstein” of the Steroids Scandal because of his tell-all book Juiced. While he did shed some light on an important issue, there is one distinct difference: Woody and the B-Dog wrote their book because they wanted to bring a corrupt President to justice because they were great journalists. Canseco wanted to make some money ratting out his old buddies because he’s a douche.

If, for even a moment, you held on to a shred of possibility it wasn’t all about the money, that was blown out of the water when he decided to write a second book which “had stuff” on the likes of A-Rod and Junior Griffey, two players who have never shown up in any steroids investigation. This means one of two things: Canseco was making shit up because he’s a dick, or he willingly held out the most surprising allegations from his first book in favor of turning his best friends in first, which makes him an even bigger dick.

It’s hard to believe that this is the same guy who once saved a woman and all her appliances from a burning building. Sure, that was an episode of The Simpsons, but it’s about the only good thing Canseco has ever done in his life. Canseco’s penchant for douchery extends beyond the realms of using steroids to cheat at baseball, connecting other people to steroids so they too could cheat, then turning them all in for a fat paycheck.

Both of his wives have cited him for domestic violence, and both later divorced him. His second marriage was the classic American love story; boy meets girl working at Hooters, boy marries girl, boy hits girl, boy is arrested and put on probation, girl divorces boy, girl poses in Playboy using his last name. If those kids couldn’t make it work, what chance do the rest of us have?

There’s more to the story, like when he tried to blackmail Magglio Ordonez into giving him money to keep his name out of his second book. We emailed Bob Woodward to see if he ever tried blackmailing Gerald Ford, but he didn’t get back to us. The Canseco saga does have a happy ending though. Jose recently lost a “celebrity” boxing match to former NFL player Vai Sikahema in which Canseco was knocked out in the first round. Now if there was only some way we could make that happen seven or eight hundred more times we’d be good.

 

Cheap. Ass. Bastid.

#10 – Charles Comiskey:

Comiskey is best known for being the former owner of the Chicago White Sox, and for their field which was named after him, before it was changed to U.S. Cellular Field in honor of Ulysses Stanton Cellular.

However, back in the day, he was best known for being a miserably cheap bastard. It stands to reason that if you own a professional sports team, you have a shitload of money, and if you spend that money to buy a sports team, something that is utterly frivolous, it stands to reason that to cheap out on running that team makes you quite the douchebag. It’s just logic.

Charlie Comiskey was one such douchebag, paying his players substandard wages in a time before free agency, when they had no choice but to accept them. He promised one of his pitchers a $10,000 dollar bonus if he won thirty games in a season, but benched him right before he could reach that mark, preferring to save the money at the risk of losing some games. Also he wouldn’t pay for his player’s laundry. To reiterate, he bought a professional sports team, built them a stadium, then decided he’d rather they look like hobos than pay for laundry.

Of course, his stinginess ended up leading to the Black Sox Scandal, in which his team threw the World Series for cash. Cash, that one can presume went toward not smelling like shit.

Read more of this hilarious article at Cracked.com
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